We cry but we never cry-it-out. Ever.
Cry-it-out is crap. When babies, toddlers, and kids have crying meltdowns, they need loving adult embraces and reassurance in order to calm down. Their brains cannot self-soothe. It may look like they are, but really they’re just going into a freeze stress response (think fight, flight, or freeze). This means they’re just giving up. This negatively affects they way their brains become wired to respond to stress.
Cry-it-out is trendy “nanny wisdom” and it’s not backed by current brain research. It may look like it’s working, but it damages kids in the long-run.
Source: The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland. I’m going to start a Facebook book club for this book and update my progress as I read it in my stories. Let me know if you want to join the book club.
P.S. To my friends who have used cry-it-out with the best of intentions. No judgement. I know we’re all doing the best we can with the tools and wisdom we have. I’m just trying to share a little. And, the brain can be always be rewired.
P.P.S No babies were harmed in the taking of this photo. I had just picked Noutin up from the stroller to feed him.
Thoughts on cry-it-out?
I'm a teacher, mama, and mentor. I created the You Before School e-course and more. I'm here to encourage and share self-efficacy skills for women.