Educators, it gets my goat when...
schools expect us to work for free AND we do it. My maternity leave time is giving me plenty of space to read, reflect, reread, process, and just think. Teachers, we volunteer too much. We donate too much. We take too much work home. We give education too much space in our heads. I’m so done with all the “work harder” messages. They make us feel guilty for having a life outside of school. These voices screaming at us to work harder should be yelling at admin, our unions, and the state to pay us more, give us more prep time, pay quality coaches, and or purchase resources instead of implying that we’re not doing a good enough job. If you are a lazy teacher who doesn’t actually teach and/or treats your students poorly, yes you need to work harder and admin should be helping you. If you’re reading this, I know you’re not a lazy teacher. You are probably already doing more than enough. Friends, we all see and sometimes share the “do more”messages. Try to filter them and keep these things in mind: •Teaching is a career, not volunteering •You deserve time be paid for your time and expertise •Just because it seems like everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean you have to •Question and filter the messages you are consuming •You deserve to have a life outside of school And feel free to just stick your tongue out at the next person who asks you to do one more thing without offering to pay you.
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I almost didn’t post this.
My flannel looks funky. It’s hanging in an unflattering way. But, who cares? It’s just unflattering. Know what’s awesome? I have this picture of tiny Noutin in front of the gorilla that I can take again and again take as he grows. Even better? His sister is in it, too. I’ve read the blog posts about how moms are never in the picture. Most blame the dads for not taking the pictures. I think the blame is actually on us, moms. We worry more about our appearance, especially our post-baby bodies, than capturing a memory. I’m always working on it. You know I hate it when Nishantha catches me pre-coffee in his home movies. I even refused to let him use quite a bit of footage of me on an outing on the only day I’ve wore jeans since I had Noutin. I say this knowing I have an easier time losing baby weight than most women. I’m also better at gaining weight than most women. I ate my way to gain more than 50lbs with Nouarie! I just stopped looking with Noutin. Anyway, mama friends, this is another reminder to be in the pictures, with your whole, baby-creating body and gorgeous, tired, unfiltered face showing! Thank you for the reminder today, @littleskye . They’re so happy. I’m so tired.
We walked almost the entire Safari Park today. I wore, carried, and/or pushed both babies by myself. I’m exhausted. I’m pretty sure Noutin’s teething. He fell asleep at midnight last night. I know sleep is essential. We all need those 8 hours. But most moms don’t get to sleep in and toddler play dates don’t pause for naps. Thanks for the fun day, @dluvsemma . I missed you and your muscles @raquelly87 I’ve extended my maternity leave twice now.
I was supposed to go back at the end of October. I planned to go back today, the first day back from winter break. Not yet. I’m actually going back at the beginning of March. This time is considered bonding time. Noutin gets to spend most of his day in my arms or very close by. Know who else gets extra bonding time? Nouarie! We saved our money for this time, and I am letting go of the guilt for taking time for our family. I’ve heard so many of you tell me that you wished you had taken more time and/or that you’re grateful for the time you took. Thank you for leading me and encouraging me to take all the time I can. Know what’s also awesome? Even after I go back, it’s just a few months until we return to family-filled summer days. Being a teacher is great. What? You survived months of neglect?!?
Know what makes a great hobby? Something that will die if you forget about it! My mandarins didn’t die, but plenty of plants did. My poor garden had a rough 2019. Rolly pollies, tomato worms, rabbits, and our dogs ate more than we did. Remember the mountains of rolly pollies that even started climbing up the exterior walls of our house?!? It was so gross! Oh, and then I tired to garden during my third trimester even though we live in a hotter part of Southern California, where it’s over 100 degrees for most of summer. Yeah, the garden ended up just be left to Mother Nature while I mothered newborn Noutin. But we’re back in business now! Nouarie and I have cleared out the dead plants and already begun planting a few new ones. One of the bright sides of living in a super sunny area! Our mandarin tree, lemon tree, leeks, a pepper plant, and one stubborn cabbage survived the neglect. This weekend, we made an unplanned trip to Lowe’s to pick up the new plants. I knew buying them would make me get outside and get the garden back under control. I spent most of today digging, raking, pruning, weeding, picking, and planting in the sunshine. It felt so good. Know what else feels good? Giving my brain something new to plan, research, and do. Hobbies are the best! Anyway, what’s your hobby? Don’t tell me it’s anything related to your job or your kids—unless you do the hobby with your kids. Work stuff doesn’t count. Neither do pastimes that involve staring at a screen. 🍊🍋 PS We’ll share our mandarins and lemons with you, local friends! Screen-free simplicity 📚
Just a few friendly reminders: •Kids like books •Modeling reading creates readers •Used books are cheap •Library and hand-me-down books are free •Books can be in every room of the house •Reading to kids strengthens bonds •Books build vocabulary •Screens distract from reading •Kids love hearing you read, no matter how good of a reader you think you are What are you currently reading? New Year’s Resolutions don't work.
Know what does? Taking the whole month of January to reflect on the previous year and then slowly figuring out everything I want/need/deserve in the upcoming year in the areas of: 🌈Creativity 🕯Soul 🧠Mind ❤️Relationships 👶🏽Family 🧘🏻♀️Body 🏠Home 🏔Adventures 💰Finances 🌎Community 🥑Self-Care ☔️Support ☁️Dreams THEN setting my goals for the year. People, this has changed my life. I had always put my goals first and ALL of those goals were related to my career (teaching) or my health (to stay alive to teach). But when I began sitting down to write about my hopes, I ended up with so many things to look forward to that I clearly saw that teaching is just my career instead of my life. This has actually made me an even better teacher because I'm now happier, more efficient, and more balanced. Friends, I want you to bring some @leonie_dawson into your life. Go buy My Shining Year on Amazon or at Target and fill it out. Take one of her courses and do the homework. Or at least follow her on here for some authentic as f* fresh air. Who's joining me on the #myshiningyear bus? Done is better than perfect.
I never posted this adorable picture of Nouarie because at the time I thought it wasn't good enough. Since then I’ve gotten better about controlling that little perfectionist voice. And since then she’s gotten better at standing and can now pick the books up to “read” them by telling stories based on pictures. Friends, do you have that annoying inner voice, too? If so, push her aside and push through. It’s worth it. You are worth it. Whatever you are creating it worth it. What are you not sharing with the world because you want it to be perfect?
Who else has too many toys in their house? I need to go through ours again.
If you're looking for inspiration to purge your kids' stuff and just have a more peaceful family this year, I reccomend "Simplicity Parenting." In case you're too busy, here are a few of the main points: •Pay attention for signs of sensory overload and respond by simplifying •Reduce toys, clutter, lights, and noise at home •Use routines to create a family rhythm •Clear schedules to create plenty of unstructured time •Limit screentime (my favorite!) •Keep adult stress, like the news,away from kids The book also talks a little about decreasing the number of books in the house, but I think keeping them stored in a nice library with a few accessible is wonderful. Teachers, know we make routines at school? I think it totally helps me, and the rest of my family, to have some simple ones at home, even during breaks and maternity leave. So, back to this toy purging business. Send help! I have a mountain to tackle...again. Book: Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross Do you believe you’re in control of the happiness in your home?
I’d read a lot about it, but it’s finally starting to sink in. Maybe it’s old age. Maybe it’s two kids. Maybe it’s just the right amount of coffee. I believe it, and I’m trying my best. Here’s a bit of what’s working right now just in case you want to steal an idea or two: •Replacing negative self-talk, complaints, and worries by repeating “I have so much to be grateful for” in my head •Censoring the media I consume •Separating my time instead of trying to integrate it (multitask) •Keeping clutter under control •Getting enough sleep •Dance parties with Nouarie •Lighting a candle •Actually saying our home is a happy place •Covering Noutin and Nouarie with so many kisses and tickles that they uncontrollably belly laugh every day What do you do to keep your home happy? |
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February 2020
CategoriesNatalie PriesterI'm a teacher, mama, and mentor. I created the You Before School e-course and more. I'm here to encourage and share self-efficacy skills for women. |