"Uppie Me"

Natalie holding Nouarie at Fullerton Arboretum (PC Nishantha Unantenne)

“Mommy, uppie me!” As often and as long as I can, sweet girl.

I hear “uppie me, Mommy” all day, especially when Noutin is in my arms. I couldn’t pick Nouarie up after my c-section, and I feel like she’s still catching up on lost carries. I’m trying to avoid calling it “jealously” or “attention-seeking.” She needs the hugs. She’s two and a half and she’s used to having me to herself.

If we lived 150 years ago or in a different culture, it would be different. We would be surrounded by a community of adults ready to hold her and/or her brother as our family adjusted to the addition of a baby. This is how most humans have raised children. It’s harder for us modern moms and our kids because we have less support. We normally have extra arms around our house, and it’s still tough to “uppie” everyone.

On the bright side, I’m getting better at noticing when Nouarie needs some extra affection instead of waiting for her to ask for it. It makes me think back to learning to be proactive during the trauma-informed care training I had almost ten years ago.

Parent friends, how do I keep her to want to be in my arms as long as possible?