Natalie Priester
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File-Make a Copy: Experiencing a Failed Presentation through a Growth Mindset

7/26/2015

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Two weeks ago, I made my first conference presentation. I presented Writing from the Ground Up with Google Drive at the EdTechTeam Google Apps for Education (GAFE) Summit Riverside.  When the session began, I was excited.  The room was packed with almost fifty eager-to-learn participants.  I pushed them to begin with an activity instead of just sitting idly and taking notes. I sensed their reluctance, but they jumped right in and began exploring a shared Google Drive folder containing writing process templates and samples.  

Then, it all blew up.  

Suddenly, the template folder was missing and copies of documents began popping up by the dozen.  I attempted to just fix the problem by using revision history by identifying the folder thief and restoring the folder.  This worked, but as soon as I moved the templates folder back to the shared folder another participant took the resources folder!  And copies just kept appearing!  It was a mess. I kept my cool.  I smiled.  I enlisted the support of a colleague who was in the session along with a few of the more experienced participants.  But, it was too big of a mess to fix within a few minutes. And, every time I looked up someone was walking out the door!

I took a deep breath. I abandoned my hands-on session that followed an inquiry model.  I sat on a desk. I thanked the twenty remaining educators for their patience and began telling them how I use Google Drive to support the writing process. I showed examples and student work.  A few actually seemed relieved to learn by simply listening and watching instead of creating their own documents.  They were friendly and praised the tools and process I shared.  I promised to locate the stolen folders and send an email containing new folder and instructions guiding them to make individual copies.

I smiled as they left.  But, behind the smile, I was frantically thought about how I knew better. I have been using Google Drive since before it was even called Drive. I knew shared folders were messy. I knew I should have used file>make a copy, but instead I decided to try something new in an attempt to have my participants collaborate and share their work.  What was I thinking? Also, I hadn’t considered that many GAFE participants are complete beginners--even though I had labeled my session #beginner and #intermediate.  I failed. My presentation was a flop. (I was secretly grateful these beginning GAFE users were also not very active on Twitter!)

If this presentation had occurred a year and a half ago, it would have devastated me.  I may have even begun crying or become visibly frustrated. I may not have been able to salvage the session.  Even if I had pulled through, I would have been incredibly embarrassed. My mind and mouth would have been filled with frustrated criticisms and complaints. I would have felt like I was not good enough to present. I would have given up.  At that time, I had what Carol Dweck, the author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, explains is a fixed  mindset; I fell into the practice of “Believing that...qualities are carved in stone” (2008).  At the time of the presentation, I was halfway through Dweck’s book, but I had already been unintentionally transitioning from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset for more than a year. The growth mindset, according to Dweck, follows “the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts” (2008).  I  have already had a year and a half of change due to a growth mindset.  The growth began with small things like changing my eating habits, domestic routines, and exercise practices and intentionally returning to abandoned hobbies.  As I began to have small successes in these areas, my confidence grew.  I allowed myself to listen to the part of me that knew I was capable of growth.  This led to even larger changes, including decreasing my commitment to extracurricular activities at school, ending a long-term relationship, purging hundreds of items from my home, closing my eBay business,  and enrolling in a masters program.   Reading Dweck's book has helped me to realize that I have a growth mindset.

But, the way I handled this presentation flop showed more than just my willingness to learn.  I allowed myself to fail without being hurt.  As Dweck explains, “Even in the growth mindset, failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn’t define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from” (2008).  The pages of Mindset was not my first exposure to the idea that failures create opportunities for learning.  One of my close friends, Hunter Gluam (who has never even heard of Mindset) encourages growth mindset thinking.  When I discuss a challenging situation or relationship with him, he says, “But, what are you learning from this experience? What is this person teaching you?  If it hurts, identify the cause of the pain and be grateful for the pain.  How is it changing you?”  Without realizing it, Hunter has been encouraging me to seek challenges and take risks.  Additionally, I recently read Kevin Brookhouser’s book The 20Time Project: How Educators and Parents Can Launch Google’s Formula for Future-Ready Innovation.  Brookhouser encourages teachers to “set your students up to fail” because “Every student is counting on us to teach them failure so they can learn to persist, to get dirty, to take risks, to fail without giving up, to dust themselves off, and to keep making and producing no matter what.   Additionally, the idea of providing opportunities for failure in classrooms is currently trending among the edtech community on Twitter.  Because I have allowed myself to listen to the voices supporting a growth mindset, I was able to walk out of the session giggling as I sent a selfie to my friends to amuse them with news of  my “epic fail.”  

At lunch, instead of pouting or complaining, I began debriefing the experience with my friends. My colleague, Cheryl Lynch (@clynchjccs), who was also presenting for the first time and I decided that we will need to  practice presenting at small conferences before presenting at a larger local conference. We began immediately researching future conferences.  My colleague and current professor, Jeff Heil (@jheil65), laughed at the story about my presentation and said, “Didn’t I tell you?  Never share a folder. That’s like presenting rule number one.  Always use file>make a copy.  Next time.”  Instead of being mad, I just laughed and harassed him for not telling me sooner.  Later, an experienced presenter who I had just met that weekend, Jesse Lubinksy (@jlubinsky), advised, “You just need reps.  It takes awhile.  I was even nervous today as I began my large session today. Keep presenting.”  I did not completely realize that day, but the people I chose to spend my time with also posses the growth mindset; they were able to see my story as a learning experience--not a definition of my ability.  

As I drove home from the conference, I excitedly decided that I would apply to present at the next available GAFESummit.  I knew that preparation and time commitment would add to my busy schedule, but I wanted to push myself to improve.  As Dweck states, “People in a growth mindset don’t just seek challenge, they thrive on it” (2008).  I agree. My application to the GAFESummit Orange County was accepted.  I will present Writing from the Ground Up with Google Drive again. And, this time, I will use file>make a copy.

Works Cited
Brookhouser, Kevin (2015-01-25). The 20Time Project: How educators and parents can launch Google’s formula for future-ready innovation. Kindle Edition.

Dweck, Carol (2006-02-28). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

3 Comments
Nona link
7/27/2015 12:08:35 am

Love this, Natalie! Thanks for sharing so much of your past year and a half, too. It is amazing how similar we all are in our journeys toward growth mindset cultivation. For example, I would never be in this cohort if I was existing in my fixed mindset: the failures and struggles involved in learning something new would have completely overwhelmed me so that I couldn't even begin. In my personal life, I am focusing on the growth I am making in ending relationships that do not align with my values more quickly than I would have ended them previously. When I get off track with my eating or exercising habits, I try to focus on how much more quickly I am getting back on track instead of dwelling on how far from perfect I continue to be! Having a growth mindset also gave me the courage to buy my condo a couple weeks ago because I wasn't waiting for the absolutely "perfect" home; I was able to find a "good enough" home so I could move on in my life. (I have already been looking for a year....I certainly didn't rush into anything either). We are lucky to be helping one another continue to nourish growth mindsets. I am so proud of your ability to learn from your facilitator workshop experience and sign up for the next one, too.
Nona

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Jake link
7/28/2015 04:23:15 am

Natalie,

It's amazing to know how excited we get to share our learning with people, that sometimes we neglect to think of all the "what if" situations. I'm glad to know that even someone as advanced as yourself has those moments! Yet, because of your growth mindset, you're taking that experience and learning from it. In addition, you have now shared this with everyone on your blog, where we can take note of the dangers of shareable folders.

One thing that stands out to me is your note of how this might have affected you just a year-and-a-half ago. I think we all go through phases of pride and humility (I know I do), and I think that growth mindset takes a lot of humility to possess. That failures are to be celebrated (pride seems to let us think that we are defined by the failures). You are inspiring because everyone knows how good you are with technology and teaching, but it's hard to acknowledge that we all fail at times. You are vulnerable enough to share that with the world.

I'm excited to hear about your GAFE Summit in Orange County. It's cool to see how fast you are learning and sharing the ability to infuse technology into our teaching, while documenting the bumps along the way. Keep up the growth!

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Michelle Hernandez
7/29/2015 04:06:42 am

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    A collection of my learning from SDSU EDL 680 Seminar in Personalized Learning 

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